The Hitman’s Bodyguard

Mace Windu plays Samuel L Jackson. Ryan Reynolds plays Ryan Reynolds. You’ve seen both of them play these characters before. Jackson is the one with the streets. Reynolds is Deadpool in a suit, on probation.

The story in a nutshell: Jackson is a hitman and key witness in the trial of a Commissioner Gordons’ evil dictator. Reynolds’s job (under order from Elektra) is to ensure Jackson gets to the trial in one piece to give evidence.

This move was hyped to hell and back for me. “It’s really funny” I was told by many.

I feel like everyone around me is laughing at an in-joke that I’m not a part of.

Don’t get me wrong, the banter between Reynolds and Jackson made me snort at points, but it largely felt forced and uninspired.

This movie forced me to learn a few things about myself. My tolerance to mediocrity has massively reduced. Have I grown up? Probably not. I think it’s more down to the fact that I’m much more selective with the little free time I do have.

Through out the movie all I wanted to do with switch on the PlayStation. But no. I had to complete the movie. See it through to the bitter end – not because my wife made me (considering she had no interest before hand), but because I’m a man that finishes what he begins. Sometimes.

I wanted to be dazzled, or moved. This movie did neither. It felt like a pastiche of 80’s buddy movies. Rush Hour did ‘buddy’ much better, especially in the post Lethal Weapon world we live in.

There we go, don’t watch this. Watch Lethal Weapon 1 through 4 again instead.

There’s only so many times I can hear m*th*f*ck*.

2/5

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